I’m obsessed with love and it’s habits yet I’m terrified of experiencing it
It feels odd, knowing all you can of a subject but still fearing its hold of you
You become obsessed with its agenda,
learning how it moves and breathes
Yet the idea of confrontation of it fills fear in us of how it will react.

Learning to love
It’s as if we have studied day n night yet the test was everything but
You know all there is to know
How to mend it, raise it, control it, yet we fear it
Love is unlike any being
Love has solidified itself as the most saught after suffering
We lose who we are, who we’ve made ourselves out to be to this point
For a figurative future version of ourselves we want
Love is the most unbiased experience anyone could interact with
It’s versatility has reached to personalities completely opposite of each other and brought them together
The only counter piece to love is failure
What if we fail in love
What if we mess up
The phrase “love is blinding” is beyond surface level
Love changes the most ignorant of men’s perspective
Maybe we fear being changed
Maybe we fear losing who we are once and for all
That’s what it seems to be

I will not love for I will lose myself again and I will not risk who I am
But what if I could become more
What if I’ve maxed out at my potential yet love shone through
The binding of two separate souls in agreement to become one through declaration in the name of love
What if love was named something else
Would all it’s definitions, synonyms, and relations follow or would some be left behind
Have we over evaluated love given it more than it’s deserving
Have we over complicated the act of love and the overwhelming qualities of love hinder us from it
I fear its changing abilities will fail me
I feel as if I could understand  
I pray I can reach that point but I fear more than I know yet I don’t

You see, love is in constant infinity
In the world of emotion; happiness, sadness, fear, and hope are all solidified equations and we are able wrap our minds around the properties of it
Yet love is a simple yet unsolvable equation that exists beyond our capabilities.
That’s why love is feared, we fear what we do not know
And in the nature of love it’s impact upon our lives is beyond any other.
And at its surface it is quite simple to reach yet we dive deeper and it pushes us beyond what we can evaluate
Maybe it’s better to love at a surface level
To love for lovings sake
To love to not be alone
To love to be happy
Love to have children
Love to be connected
Love to be secure
Love to be loved

Love is like pi
Not the food but 3.14159
Except every digit that follows the other is a vital detail in the pursuit of understanding love’s anatomy
We see love as 22/7
And we are happy with this
We love the way it looks and feels
Yet some will divide and settle for each numerical digit and settle as so
Yet some of us are not satisfied with this
We can’t handle with settling
We must find the extent to where it lies
As if it’s end is a revelation
We chase on, marking every detail yet we cannot write enough down to fill every page

Let alone understand
I do not refuse to love because I don’t believe in it
I refuse to love because I’m obsessed with what else it can do and I do not feel ready to love until I know all there is to it