A word I hate
that you started to use
to describe anything that limited you
That now I fear.

18 years we were together
true the last few years had issues
but there always seemed something
worth saving as a friend and family.

When we talked about us
and what was happening
I would ask you why you said things
you would say your words don't mean that.

You even said you were surprised
that I was not more supportive
of your first affair
because I was your friend.

But you left for another
and another and now
maybe two more - a new reality
and with seeming amorality.

Oh I know I need to let you go
tis what I tell our daughter
who reads your texts
and is more aware than you know.

But how can I keep hold of a vision
that love means something real
that its is more than ****** adventure
when I start to doubt reality.

How do you come back to love
when you see a cruel mockery of it?
How do you find peace and comfort
in lonely, though pure, isolation?

I am not seeking righteous shaming
but rather acceptance of what is.
but at the same time I cannot say
your is; is right or good or true.

How can you watch another
live in a parallel and twisted reality
while the people we know pretend
that both of us share the same world.

I guess that is my challenge
I can define my reality
through words I believe in
and that keep the same meaning.

Love, trust, partnership and passion
Family, children, kindness and fun
these shall be my building blocks
to build a new reality amidst the dispair.