I can't....

Can't help these feeling

consuming me as

you assume about me,

presume to understand.

Listen sweetie -


I never had a choice

I wasn't right in my thinking.

In my reasonings left us both with

unrequested guilt.

Unanswered questions , doubted,  

misguided-  non-understanding,

abandoned-  my un- abandoned disgust,

regretfully  mistaken stolen moments,

regret  deeply for not being there,

being  not there even now....


Left a ache inside

for so long-  I still cry,

I cry for myself  too though.

It hurts to loose so much

to have nothing but questions,

doubt

wondering

wonderful  bliss,  mind erased...

blissfully  -

no more thinking,

shaking crying,

blissful aint blessed when I had to forget.

don't speak or talk.. keep it in

deep inside

no one

tell no one.....

I was trapped,

taken,

thrown,


beaten & shaking.....

In my mind....

In my head- i felt no pain...

Lied to myself...  lied about you.... about me....  about "it"......  about US.

******,

*******!!!

Lying to me,  lying to you,

lying   lying    lying  

so much lying....

lying,  drowning,  dying,  lying,   crying,  lying.......

PLEASE!!!!


how can they have lied- liars lying as i laid dreaming....

demons, screaming.....

I cried, screamed, dreamed & longed for this day

Fought & still fight for this day

A day where you'd know!

Where you unsheathe that sword-

Placed-  deep in my heart, deep into my soul...

Did you know?  

Did they tell you-

who I was?  

Couldn't you of guessed?


Your eyes- my eyes


Your hand's - my hands


Your smile - my smile


Your laugh - its me!!!


I'm you

Your blood

My blood.

Didn't you notice  

didn't you see


all me in you?


I knew from the moment your face
looked deep into my face


your shape

my shape

my mirror

your mirror.

Twin yet not  - -  

Mother╰♥•♥╮ Daughter

finally:

One -  Whole

and

Together !


I Always Loved & Love You!

Dear child of mine  -

╰♥•♥╮JANNELL  ╰♥•♥╮

Always Me Ayeshah