I am too hard to love
Too ******* the eye to look at without squinting

I am too stiff to hold
Too cold against your skin for comfort

I am too quiet to be heard
So I scream but I forget what to scream about
And then I'm just screaming

I am too big to cradle
My limbs too long and my heart too bitter
To be rocked back and forth

I am too soft
Too ready to cry
Too ready to say yes out of fear of losing

I am too afraid

I exist too largely
Taking up space in all the nooks and crannies
My feelings spilling out into places they shouldn’t be

I am too heavy
My brain oozing, rotten from the pressure of me
My thoughts now turned to mush and impossible to decipher

I am too hard to love
Too confused and volatile to trust

I am too stiff to hold
I cut off my hands to stop them from hurting and
Now I can’t hold you back