My old man's a dustman
He's in the pub today
He'd be there all the bloomin' time
If he had his way

My old man's a dustman
He don't give it's all take
He plays his banjo late at night
And keeps us all awake

My old man's a dustman
He loves his missus so
He wouldn't swap her for the world
I think she'd swap him though

My old man's a dustman
He once met the Queen
He kept his hands behind his back
'Cos they weren't very clean

My old man's a dustman
He's really quite a card
Friday night he'll take you on
If you think you're 'ard

My old man's a dustman
He knows my Auntie Jean
Every time she sees him
She does a little scream

My old man's a dustman
Making no mistake
When he finally pops his clogs
There'll be quite a wake