The world will never be as we expect
all I want is to see you alright
but I'm struggling to be ok too.

We don't learn
the real monsters don't hide from you anymore
because they live in your head
want you to end your suffering
but only if you'll do them a favor and wind up dead.

A jet black heart controls me
I am my own strife.
And you've been uninvited,
you're excused from my life.

You're taking breath away
from lungs that don't care
so do what you want with me
as I breathe in the already polluted air.
I laugh
as I'm dying slowly, painfully,
just living through the next few years.

And you're starting to see it in me
noticing why I'm so careless with what God had once given me.

Standing in the shadows,
waiting for you on the dark corner of an abandoned restuarant where I used to feel safe away from home
I'm just the freak girl with hidden hopes, sight losing eyes, and fading green hair that'll forever keep its color, still undyed, even after I'm dead.

Can you hear the tv static too
or is this just for me?
Welling up in my thoughts I feel sick.
Constantly....
I am so very sick,
watching seconds swim by
I can suddenly hear every clock in the world overwhelmingly tick.

Falling away fast from this life
I don't have much time left.
But anymore I don't see why it'd be such a bother.

Switch to something else to get the pain gone and see us continuously press pause on it,
contemplating the antidote
then we revert back to hit Go.
I feel bad to make God suffer
as he'll have to watch me,
rip my life apart.
I'm a monster on my own,
I tear myself up
without needing the devils claws.