You are frantically flailing your arms in the sea of “I like you’s” and “You are amazing’s”
Gasping for just.
One.
Breath.
That's all you wish for.
But no.
You are forced by the mangled hands of the universe to watch in utter despair as the one you love loses interest.
Day after day, seeing the replies get shorter and shorter.
That deep, dark, flawless affection slowly slugging down those white walls of purity.
Knowing you’ve played this **** game before.
But you still drag your limp, broken heart away with the same result.
Same feeling.
Your wide-eyed self trusting this time will be different,
but realizing you were wrong.
The thinking back and forth,
the not knowing anything but the fact that your thoughts are your absolute worst enemy.
How about wondering if there was something you could still do to save
yourself?
But with the struggles of life all around you,
already suffocating you beyond limits,
you can’t find the energy to sound the words.
You sit back and stare at the sight of your shattered body scrambling for one sight of light.
Watching as the soft and gentle waves of pure anxiety lapse over your expressionless face,
Resembling the tiny pieces of snow that fall to the ground causing you to hear the last crack.
Not being able to look away at the sight of your entire existence crumbling into an avalanche like state as if it never existed in the first place.
Feeling the last layers of your hearts walls peel away,
freeing themselves
from self inflicted hurt. At least they are free.