where does my joy come from?
it comes not from you.
not from waiting for you,
like waiting for rain in a drought.
it comes not from pressing pause,
holding breath,
using litotes on the underwhelming.
it comes not from the unnecessary distractions.
or comparisons.
or sharp bluntness.

it definitely doesn’t come from that feeling - the feeling that you’re losing
interest.
the feeling that I’m losing
value.
the feeling that I’m losing.

it comes, instead, from something greater
something more
something inside
and all around

I remember to look away from you
and look up