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May 2019
Some things have gotten
Mush worse since you left
Like how I can't stop the
Voices in my head anymore

My OCD is at its worse
I can't stop counting numbers
My anxiety won't leave me alone
It tells me I shouldn't leave the house

My parents wonder why I
Don't visit as often
My friends wonder why I would
Rather stay home than go out

My depression says to me
"No one loves you"
And my body feels like
A ******* strangers

I either eat too much
Or nothing at all
I don't sleep for days
Or I don't leave the bed for hours

But other things in my life
Have improved since you've been gone
Like I feel like I'm finally with
Someone who can be honest with me

I can finally write again
I can draw
I can read
I can breathe

You taught me how to love myself
When you never even loved me
You taught me how to respect
Myself and live freely

You showed me many different
Points of view
And how to open yourself up
To the people who deserve it

You taught me I need to respect myself
And to not let others dictate
How I feel
Or how I live my life

You taught me a lot
Like that I don't need you
To survive this life anymore
I can walk on my own now

Some things in my life feel like
They are falling apart
And slowly slipping from me
Like oiled up hands grasping at the edge of the cliff

But some things are slowly falling
Back into place
And maybe
Just maybe

I can live this life without you next to me

Maybe I will be okay in the end

Maybe I can find my way back to the light

Just maybe my life can be mine again
Ellyn k Thaiden
Written by
Ellyn k Thaiden  Amongst The Stars
(Amongst The Stars)   
174
     Fawn and Bogdan Dragos
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