the giggles of a child haunt me
fill up my lungs and throat with guilt
forcing me to choke as i watch her
i’d rather gouge out my eyes then see her sweet smile taunt me
she irritates me with her cluelessness
she’s young and stupid
when i warn her of the demons coming her way
she skips right through me
im unknown to her
but i know everything about her
i know all her thoughts
all her hobbies
i’ve thought every thought she has
i’ve played every game she has
i’ve sat in every classroom she has
i’ve prayed for the same wishes she has
i was fed the same lies she was
if only i could warn her
tell her i’m sorry
that i’m not what she imagined she would be when she gets older
if only i could have warned me