Ain't Life Grand..at 1.30am.

Ain't life grand when your
teenage son decides at 1.30am
to take a stomp
through the house,
feet as loud as possible
on the lovely Tawa boards,
'coz he had a 'fight' with his
gf..his bf..his best friend
over nothing
over something
blah blah blah...

knowing your tenuous
relationship with sleep,
bangs away
doors swung a 'lil too hard,
sighs heaved audibly,
yes son, yes son, wide awake now
if you want to talk,
instead choose testosterone
and I'm a ***** for asking you
to please be a little more gentle
in the middle of the night.
single parenting,
ain't life grand,

as 'he' sleeps blissfully
on the other side of the city,
unaware of either his child's
best friends name,
or their most favourite things,
colours, songs they sing
quietly to themselves
when relaxed disarmed
alone with their thoughts.

ain't life grand as sleep,
gone now the way of
too many dried tears,
runny noses,
and skinned knees,

son sheepishly tapping now
on my door, with sorrys and
I love you's and
that was not cool of me mum.
well I'm awake now son
if you need a cuppa, a hug
and a chat at 2am,
or anything,
ain't life grand.

it's nothing,
it's everything,
it is.
It is the empty half of the bed,
sheets cold still tucked
it's not getting ******,
no comfort to be had,
except for my
constant companions,
my cicadas,
chirping rhythmically
on and on outside
the open summer windows.

Ain't life grand, monster o'clock
right around the corner now,
just beyond the breech,
any point in trying to grasp
a handful more
of tattered sleep
lost.

I want to scream it
into the still dark night
to all those peaceful bodies,
curled together in
ignorant Innocent bliss,
wake up! wake up! wake up!
yeah, ain't life grand.

J.C. 30/03/2019.