May 2019
I wasn't good enough
For you to stay
You decided to find love
A different way
You left me thinking
I was broken somehow
That I loved you wrong
And it's over now
It's over for you
But not for me
You still haunt
My memories
You slip into my dreams
And you whisper quietly
"No one will ever love you
Like you love me"
What's so wrong about me
That makes people leave
What scared you away
And left me to grieve
You found happiness
In someone else's arms
They give you peace of mind
Apparently I caused you harm
I'm still clueless
And I feel so alone
Surrounded by people
My home isn't my home
It's an empty shell
Without you next in bed
I can't shut these thoughts up
They're racing through my head
I try to live without you
But it doesn't feel like living
I try to love without you
But I end up giving more than receiving
As the years go by
Maybe it will hurt less
But right now
You've ripped my heart from my chest
I pretend it's okay
To see you with them
But I honestly can't
Seem to comprehend
Why I wasn't enough
Why I couldn't be what you wanted
I don't know what I messed up
But every night I'm haunted
With how things could have gone
The life we could have had
The love I felt for you
Was I really so bad
I'll never be enough
For you or for the next
I should just give up
And put myself to rest
For you to stay
You decided to find love
A different way
You left me thinking
I was broken somehow
That I loved you wrong
And it's over now
It's over for you
But not for me
You still haunt
My memories
You slip into my dreams
And you whisper quietly
"No one will ever love you
Like you love me"
What's so wrong about me
That makes people leave
What scared you away
And left me to grieve
You found happiness
In someone else's arms
They give you peace of mind
Apparently I caused you harm
I'm still clueless
And I feel so alone
Surrounded by people
My home isn't my home
It's an empty shell
Without you next in bed
I can't shut these thoughts up
They're racing through my head
I try to live without you
But it doesn't feel like living
I try to love without you
But I end up giving more than receiving
As the years go by
Maybe it will hurt less
But right now
You've ripped my heart from my chest
I pretend it's okay
To see you with them
But I honestly can't
Seem to comprehend
Why I wasn't enough
Why I couldn't be what you wanted
I don't know what I messed up
But every night I'm haunted
With how things could have gone
The life we could have had
The love I felt for you
Was I really so bad
I'll never be enough
For you or for the next
I should just give up
And put myself to rest
I don't know what I did wrong. I don't know why it was so unbearable to be with me. I don't know why you would leave for other people. After you promised to stick with me. You don't promise someone forever if you can't give it. I know things change, but that's not how I see it. Why was I so hard to be with? Why couldn't you marry me like you promised? Why did you lie to everyone, including yourself? Why did you use me? How are you doing okay and forgetting me while I'm literally dying inside without you next to me. I can't stop crying. I just want to die.
