Hey Kids ever wonder why people are such a pain in the ****? Well thats usally cause they have to work for a living and unless your in **** that really ***** well I guess in that field you get paid to ****. But enough about what certain people I cant mention do in there free time im just saying.
And ever wonder kids why your parents are so ******* uptight? Duh its cause befor you mom and pop used to be total freaks. Now Pop is lucky if he gets at least once a month from moms sister. Yeah thats why they invented hookers I know what a ******* .
But enough about global warming cause really I just live here on the planet. Why should I care about it? Some people often ask me. Gonzo dont you think you should put the bottle down and give up the drugs and ***** strippers?
Hmm yeah probaly when hell freezes over and hopefully it does cause I have never looked forward to moving to a warmer climate. Yeah sure I could stop being a party animal and ****** with a heart of gold. But **** that duh then what would I write about? Being misreble like everyone else really doesnt sound all that fun.
Hey ever wonder if im really insane as you belive. Well just send me a key to your house and find out.
One time when was but a young little Gonzo. I stole Grandmas credit card and tried to hire a ****** for *** ed class I always was a more hands on student myself . Yeah it would have worked if that old ***** hadnt noticed it gone
Thanks Granny you totally ruined a kickass party. Its okay she talks to the wall in the old folks home now. Im kidding like id waste that sweet social security check on a home.
She's doing just fine in the shed out back ****** that reminds me i gotta feed her and take her to the park for a good run yeah I know im all heart except fro the rest of me.
You know I think it's unfair hookers never give discounts. Hey look every other company does even ******* subway. Yeah the footlong isnt really a footlong some people really dont know what to do with a tape messure.
Hey remember its not the size that matters yeah news flash if she ses its a good size then locks herself in the bathroom for a hour and you hear a motor going off as the lights dim on the whole dam block . Well women lie just like men except way better.
Sometimes I like to get really ****** up I know your shocked.
Ever wonder why weirdos love to hunt ufo's and bigfoot? Duh you cant live off star treck reruns alone.
Some people think im a pervert and a drunk and a womanizer. And a drug addict well and a sick ******* as well. Words they really hurt well at least to people who give a *****. Sure they said alot of good things about me but they also left out a charming mispelling half wit duh what *******.
You know sometimes I think. Hey it could happen.
Just remember kids whatever you think of me. If you dont have a sense of humor you'll ******* hurt yourself. That and Gonzo loves you all and especially if your hot. And if you have any pics send em to www.learntotakeafuckingjoke.com
Untill next time hampsters. Remember that little bump on some chicks face aint a beauthy mark its probaly ******.
Dam you Cindy Crawford well at least i'll never forget you. Im kidding she a good girl it was just the clap.