My control has become
the thing I grasp onto
My OCD on high alert
Rewriting a planner
13 times in 6 months.
More rewriting then months.
But the mistakes
grate at me
rubbing me raw.
The white out,
Like a black mark
on my life.
Another reminder
that I failed
to save you.
and then I realize
I have no control
my life run by failed
attempts to remain flawless.
only to be reminded by whiteout.
That I failed you
I couldn't save you.
And I stayed.
I let you go
And I stayed.
Like a black stain on me,
I stayed.