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Apr 2019
this is not poem about you and me
this is a poem only about me

i did not write this to let you go
i wrote it because i can't let go

really, this isn't a poem.

I'm scared of the monsters inside of me slowly creeping out.
I'm scared that these monsters are slowly consuming me.
I try to fight it. I really do.
Those monsters grew because of memories.
Bad memories that no one could erase. Memories that stay with me even if i want it to leave.
I can't forget. That's my flaw.
It's not that you did anything wrong to me now.
Because you didn't. You really didn't.
It's not because I haven't forgiven you. Don't think that.
Because the moment you apologized, I already did forgive you. And i would do it again.
I just can't forget everything.
Sometimes, i wish i could wake up with amnesia.
So i don't have to remember the bad.
Because it hurts. It still does.
And i can't express it enough.
I can't put it into words.
I want this to stop.
I want to stop the pain because it's slowly killing me.
I can't even sleep at night without crying.
I can't even close my eyes without imagining.
I can't. I can't let go of it, the memories they haunt me when i'm awake. They haunt me when i'm asleep. They haunt me when i'm with you. They haunt me when i'm not with you.
They follow me like shadows in the dark.
I hate it. I might lose it before it goes away.
I don't know.
I want it to be over.
When will it be over?
Written by
twenty-six  22/F/PH
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