today its self-hatred
tomorrow its love
maybe I feel overweight
or fall back into old habits of
destruction.
sad nights where I lie and wait for something other than numb,
good nights where I lay with friends laughing over something dumb
Even though the happy emotions come they do not keep the darkness from creeping up behind me and whispering in my ear the old morbid thoughts I always used to hear. then the dark clouds fade away into the brightest day where nothing could ever go wrong until instantly and randomly my moods change. I'm sick of laughing till I cry and crying till I laugh. this illness thinks my life is a game but there's nothing I can do to fight back.