i need you now
the sky stays dark for longer
and when it's pretty it's so so far

friend,

i reached out
though my ability to reach is weak
you didnt reach back far enough
i am sorry

friend,

i think i broke my own heart this year
its not a subtle sadness its
the discomfort in a forced hug by my father its
my mothers tired eyes my sisters urgency my brothers pain its

wanting to die but being too afraid
wanting to live but feeling too restrained
wishing i was five years old so i could be forgiven for the way ive been living
and the fear is crawling through my body every moment im awake

failure is so close now, regret will soon follow

and the saddest songs make me want to get up and dance

friend,

i need help but im too proud to ask