Tell me why I'm feeling like this. With my chest feeling heavy.
With my mind thinking all over the place.
I shouldn't be feeling like this.  Feeling like it's unfair.
Like why? Why can't I let my love for you go?
With my heart thriving for someone that I could never have.
With my heart being crazy that's affecting my mind.
What am I kidding?
Always wanting someone that would never be mine.
Take a grip already and move on. Let go.
Who am I kidding?
You were my first true love if I'm honest.
Before him.
Before her.
You always held a grip on my heart that rushes to my blood into my head.
You don't know even know what power you have over me.
You don't even know that I could never move on if I don't let go you go completely.
I am here mostly for you.
To be by your side. To know you are thriving your best.
Because I don't want to let you go.
Seeing you with other shutters me intensively.
With my mind and heart clashing with another that my body is shattered between space.
Irritation among them all because you don't know.
You think you know but you don't.
Will you ever know the power you have over my heart?
Will I ever be able to move on from you?
Am I so naive to keep a light on hoping that maybe us can become something real?
Am I so naive to think I can keep going like this?
The power you have over me and you will never know what you do to me...

04.19.19