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Apr 2019
i still remember the tune to one of my late dad's favourite songs
the lyrics go like this:
"berkorban apa saja/harta atau pun nyawa/itulah kasih mesra/sejati dan mulia."
it reminds me of that time when i was barely ten
where i had to watch him folking out money
to pay for my school's annual fee
and when i begged him for a new pair of sneakers
he told me to study hard so one day i could buy whatever i want.

my younger brother and i used to keep picking a fight with each other
we yelled, we punched
but now we barely talk
and we only meet up once a year.

i was nineteen when i started to live on my own
my mother refused to let me go at first
but she could not decide between me and her new husband
i didn't fully blame her because she wanted happiness and she got it
but at what cost?
i wish i could understand how that works one day.

i'm a twenty-three years old hopeless dreamer,
i find myself reborn every time i watch people in motion pictures
i keep a list of what i want to do if i don't have any restrictions
and one of the top is to live in a foreign city
i want to feel reborn for real
taste the new air as if it's promising a new beginning and a possible love
one day, i will be one of those in the motions pictures.
Written by
hizatul akmah
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