Why do you want me to hurt
Tell me what made you so cold to me?
Will you blame me forever for the past couple years or
can you remember when you followed me around like a puppy? ?
Is it possible for you to ever forgive me and move on?

The distance you put between us is like mountains.
Don't you understand I'm the only mother you are ever going to have?
Give me a moment of your precious teeanage time and I might surprise you.
I'd rather stab my own heart out and feed it to my enemies than cause you any more discomfort.

I guess all the love in my heart is invisible to you now.
I'm not sure why I still try to see you time after time
You break my heart with your father's feelings and words.
Can't you remember who I really am? What can I do to show you how much I love you?

At the end of your life, you will have made some mistakes.
Will they be as painful as mine seem to have affected you?
Will it even be intentional?  I doubt it.
But I hope your own child never discards you like an old toy....
that gets thrown out with the trash and is never thought of again.

I keep telling myself that I deserve this....

I keep telling myself if I keep trying, you will come around..

I never thought that I would ever have to protect my heart from my own son.

I was stupid and inconsiderate of the possibility my actions would scar your huge heart.

I just don't know how much more pain I can handle in my 38 yrs of life.
Many things, I have brought on myself, I am aware & responsible.
But so many things that were done in anger and hatred have scarred me.
Please don't leave another scar where it can be mended still....

My only request is that you just open your heart and your eyes a sliver.
For me to show you how much I still love you and you love me...
On a Valentines Day, my only wish is that you would show me any kind of feeling, even anger.
But you speak to me when spoken to and refuse to listen to my pleas.
I guess that's what your dad wanted.  He got you to believe his words of hatred of me.

Happy Valentines Day.   I love you.