I cry in change rooms bathrooms and at family events
I am the pudgy granddaughter people don’t like looking at
Uncomfortable in doctors offices gyms and food courts I try to hide in plain site
People call me sensitive like its a bad thing so I feel worse
I cry in bed at work and in the car
I am invisible to those that matter and all to visible to those that don’t
Sometimes I wonder how my body could ever forgive me for what I’ve done
Despite my best efforts it has stayed by my side taken on my guilt categorized my grief
Sometimes I wonder why I’ve never tried to **** myself as if that is okay to think about
Even though I’ve wished myself gone I am here
I wonder what is keeping me so grounded and hell bent on living
Depression hits me like waves so I stop eating sugar
Anxiety takes over I go on a juice cleanse but it’s never enough
Because
Being fat in public means you have no right to ask for the vegan option
Don’t get the nice clothes
Should be honored to be cat called
My body is a bulletin board mother's show their daughters and say My dear
Never become that