So this one time I sat down to eat my salad
and she plopped into a chair to share her life's ballad
Of drunken crazies and dumb little nights
and of all sorts of berserk and ridiculous plights

Dancing on a table, just a little unstable
whoop! there's that white girl wasted label
Get up it's all right and dance into the night
got that guy's number in spite of her plight

she jumped in a cab didn't know where to go
had a suit case and just went with the flow
landing on crutches again and again
you have to play hard if you want to win

she met this musician, Aerosmith something
he was sitting on a beach wearing pirate bling
she walked up and said, "man I like what you're wearing."
had no clue about all of the people just staring

she sauntered through life on a breeze and a cloud
and only got scared when things were really loud
never a care it just falls into place
I wish I could remember that girl's pretty face

so this one time she told me things got really weird
but don't worry about it, "my name was cleared."
but she sang while in jail to cops in blue caps
and when she came out of her cell there were claps

now she turned with a grin and twinkle in her eye
and gave me advice as she bid me goodbye
"a ship in a harbor is boring as hell
crazy makes history, so go make it well"