Broken promises left my focus anonymous til life sent its consequence
pretentious postures kept my thoughts unconscious
a prominence to be full of confidence
and an ominous apparel to your provenance,
your body language was taught differently than what I’ve heard
speaking in foreign words
from the painted nails to the forced curls
killing a canvas created for diamonds and pearls,

It's what the world prefers but love begs to disperse
but whats love to a lustful mind,
like obsessions are where your worth is clearly defined
your lust goes beyond approvals of mine
you need attention of those on the outside
like what I say can’t align with the amount of likes that they provide

I feel like I couldn’t matter less,
I'm a personal therapist who tries their best
who gets blamed for the things that cease to rest
who gets pushed under the bridge when things get stressed
you say you’re depressed but your sympathy for mine has digressed  
your symptoms are contagious when you tell me i'm selfish for wanting better than this
I'll remember to shut up next time I ask for happiness

Who you are to me isn’t the same as who you are to with anybody
you pick moods like they’re choices
like the person you’re around is what affects how your voice is
you never wanted happiness when I was in your presence
pity is what you love more than the betterment of our essence
putting you first is what benefitted

You is all that mattered
my heart was a broken platter
swept away by filters I held over
my mind felt shattered
my hopes and dreams clattered
the foreclosure of who I was for who you wanted me to be

My hearts in a different place now
my mind is full of spirits now
I lost who i was in an act to please you
I regret sacrificing myself for you
I hate the way things turned out but I'm learning who I am now
Im learning what it means to be me again and that’s something ill never give in

I hope no one has to experience the torments of losing self love again