All life is, is one choice after another. it's the choices that we make that put us where we are. nobody else has any effect on that .it's all ourselves doing everything that we do to ourselves. if we're in pain because we put ourselves there. you just have to consciously think about what you're doing before you do it; and how it would affect yourself and others, because ... Karma... and eventually after you consciously start making better choices for yourself and others, better things will start happening to you.