Once upon a thinner time
Many pounds ago,
My neck was long and, oh, so slim...
Wherever did it go?

I had a neck, I know I did,
The slimmest one around,
But when I search the mirror now
It’s no where to be found.

I can’t say when it happened.
Time passes by so fast.
The things we take for granted are
The things that never last.

I know what prompted its demise...
‘Twas one of many sins.
I can’t say no to Twinkies
Now it’s buried ‘neath my chins.

Perhaps we’ll meet again one day,
But it matters not, you see,
For I know that with or without my neck,
I’m still the same old me.