I remembered how this all made me feel
this all keep questioning the purpose of my existence
where that I go mute with no proper answer
I may replace the "I" with "He"
so  whoever read take all this in the third-party narrative
but in deep down, I know this everything is about me
every word and every touch of the meaning is always only about me
saying that, I don't wanna give up
not that am dumb to see this whatever it called the bigger realty
but just like I am entrapped to mundane of routine, am entrapped to the illusion of life
the illusion which promising to fix my broken reality yet keep me making more miserable by every single minute it passes
now it is just passing the midnight
half of the wold maybe dreaming whereas the rest of the half is working on their dream
okay world, I surrender
I don't understand, even though it seems that I do understand more than you all
I wish if am stupid as you all if I am born with the ignorance as you all
He whoever responsible for making this life is just a sick *******
well it is a random something, it is the worst random ****
maybe there is no meaning to anything but isn't there a meaning
why I am here today
writing all these, which then converted to some digital bits
stored in some magnetic range
am the verdict, this is my confession
dear whoever put me on this, I am paying for your sin
it is poor innocent me bearing the cross, crucified for your eternal sins
I remember how this all made me feel tonight
it was the shittest ever felt
dear all spiritual *******, I love you all but tell me one thing
why the ******* all do have to do business with everything you preach
tell me how you are better than drug dealers
I will not remember how you all made me tonight
please, please and please
keep me out of all your business
I wish you all will burn in hell alive to witness the pain
you all have given on me
don't ever utter, just a single word
I will always remember what do you all made me feel tonight