Interlocking masterpiece of retrospective wonders
I feel the tempo of the past, the music pulls me under
I contemplate the small mistakes, the white lies,and the blunders
I hesitate to change my fate if only to disassociate myself if I choose wrong.
I take a chance at inaction and let you set the pace because I realize when dancing with the devil I cannot lead.
I don't think much anymore about anything or anyone but myself.
Selfish yet necessary to avoid the burden of caring about others.
The weight of the feelings and emotions implicating me in their state of being as my words bring their destruction or mirth.
I dislike the human trait of giving credence to logic but falling prey to feelings that only result in illogical behavior
It is the epitome of a creature that allows its own destruction in the pursuit of happiness.
To let no one control your emotions is as easy as keeping them at a distance.
Calculated and premeditated reactions and responses to put them at ease.
To control no one's emotions is a feat much harder than simply not speaking.
Inaction, action, repetition, ever changing patterns.
All that you do and do not will cause a shift in their balance.
Your every move, dancing along the outer edges of their consciousness leading to questions, answers, and emotions that send them off in a plethora of vectors.
They blindly move forward with trust in their reality, one rooted in your kind deception, of acceptance and friendship.
In the attempt to distance and save yourself from the pain, you in turn make yourself a focal point.
Whether infamy or glory, the ones in your orbit will bend and break at your word whether you want them to or not.
Suddenly every decision to please them adds on more and more to a connection that you are not truly committed to.
Every time you scorn them you burn a bridge that in their eyes means much more to them  than it does to you.
There is no balance, just a force forever moving between extremes like a pendulum.
From one extreme to another you dance your way through pleasure and pain  only enjoying a brief moment of equilibrium where you can truly be at peace.
Only when you're alone.
To care is the biggest sin because all the actions and results that follow, good or bad in the guise of caring, are judged by others and yourself.
To pretend to care is the greatest freedom given because the actions will be judged by others but you will always find solace in never judging yourself for the things that you do for others, because it was never for your own gain in anyway.
Peace of mind.
A state of being.
It doesn't truly exist but the closest taste a human could receive is to fake the day to day emotions and proceed to sashay around the people that try to bond with them.
Shaking hands but never removing your gloves.
Always there but only because it is wanted or expected.
Never truly learning what it means to be swept away in a sea of irrational behaviors
Never truly learning that the greatest joy of being human is giving in to those emotions and finding joy.
Always secure.
Always strong.
Always empty.
Always content.
Always supporting.
Always alone.