I am up then I am down. I live on an emotional Merry go round. I never know who I will see in the mirror when I wake. I never know what kind of day it will make. My life is a mixed up cake full of pills. A discolored bottle is where I get my thrills. Pink, blue, white and green pills. Several times a day they make things very real. I live in a drug induced stupor, people call me brave, my mom says I am a real trooper. All I want is for the fog to go away, perhaps I can be the real me for just one day. How did life end up this way? This is not the existence I would have chosen, but I have personalities by the dozens. Being one of my many selves is not always appropriate, welcome to the world of my psychosis.