I want to write, I want to create. Weave words into sentences into paragraphs. I want to inspire and destroy, conspire and deploy armies of men and women whose blood is the ink from my pen. ***** these white pages with forbidden words - the plagues in my brain, the disaster that is my heart - imperfectly scribbled in the voice of my fingers. I want to write, I want to create, but I just can't find the words...