I love how you never loved me
I love how you pretended to

I hate how my heart broke
When I saw shirts that said Daddy's little girl
Because I knew I never would be

I get confused when I think about
How you acted like you cared
How I cried and you hugged me
A real fatherly hug for the first time
And how weeks later when I left
You didn't even say a word
Didn't fight to keep me
Because you didn't want me

I guess I can say
I lived just fine without you
But everyone wants two parents
I was left with one
And she did amazing
But whenever I go and visit my brothers
I envy them
I want to scream
Because they have their mom
And the person who was suppose to my dad

I call you Carlos because that's who you are
Not dad or daddy
And when I refer to you I say my father Carlos
And try not to sound emotionally involved
You and I have never been close
But I still have made similar mistakes
And look undeniably like yours
And each day I curse my genes

I wish I could say I love you
But I know so little
And you've made life harder on me
So all I can say is
Your chromosomes make up half of me
And I think you gave me all the crazy genes
And I cant hate you for that
But certainly can't love you for that either.