Feb 2013
i am (was) a *** ******, and it was rather funny - what happened. you see, i’ve got ms and my feet always hurt. get’s annoying. limits things. sometimes stops things.
and from time to time I heard about how *** got rid of pain for folks with ms. but i’ve no idea how to get some. so naturally i ask my kid to get me some. he does. brings me 3 wilted looking cigarettes in a plastic container. i stick ‘em in the freezer.
then one saturday afternoon, i’m alone and all caught up and i think - ok, let’s give that **** a try. so i take one and light it up. a bit tricky in itself. keeps going out. well i just keep re-lighting it and ******* ******* it.
for i knew what to do. i’d seen how in movies. just **** in the smoke and pretend you’re under water as long as you can. so that’s what i did. over and over. lighting it up again and again. 20 minutes goes by. by now i thought i’d be feeling “high”. nope. just dizzy and getting a sore throat. and then the little cigarette was gone.
so i walked into the kitchen for something to drink. rather annoyed. my feet still hurt ******. then the world spun around 20 or so times and i couldn’t move my head a millimeter in any direction or it would spin again.
oops. this is awkward. so i take half an hour to get to the phone. phone my other kid and explain how i’m stuck in this one little spot in space-time and can’t move. and i don’t know what to do - does she have any advice?
she laughs and comes over and laughs some more. what did you do? well i smoked one of those marijuana cigarettes your brother gave me. and it didn’t help - my feet still hurt! and i can’t move my head! just my eyeballs!
a whole one yourself? all at once? well, yeah. and she gives me the orientation training i’d neglected earlier. so i crawled into bed and slept it off like any good drunk.
the other 2 are still in their plastic container in the freezer. the container without any instructions. and without warnings. been there a few years now. not too sure i want to try again. kind of reminds me how silly life is sometimes.
and from time to time I heard about how *** got rid of pain for folks with ms. but i’ve no idea how to get some. so naturally i ask my kid to get me some. he does. brings me 3 wilted looking cigarettes in a plastic container. i stick ‘em in the freezer.
then one saturday afternoon, i’m alone and all caught up and i think - ok, let’s give that **** a try. so i take one and light it up. a bit tricky in itself. keeps going out. well i just keep re-lighting it and ******* ******* it.
for i knew what to do. i’d seen how in movies. just **** in the smoke and pretend you’re under water as long as you can. so that’s what i did. over and over. lighting it up again and again. 20 minutes goes by. by now i thought i’d be feeling “high”. nope. just dizzy and getting a sore throat. and then the little cigarette was gone.
so i walked into the kitchen for something to drink. rather annoyed. my feet still hurt ******. then the world spun around 20 or so times and i couldn’t move my head a millimeter in any direction or it would spin again.
oops. this is awkward. so i take half an hour to get to the phone. phone my other kid and explain how i’m stuck in this one little spot in space-time and can’t move. and i don’t know what to do - does she have any advice?
she laughs and comes over and laughs some more. what did you do? well i smoked one of those marijuana cigarettes your brother gave me. and it didn’t help - my feet still hurt! and i can’t move my head! just my eyeballs!
a whole one yourself? all at once? well, yeah. and she gives me the orientation training i’d neglected earlier. so i crawled into bed and slept it off like any good drunk.
the other 2 are still in their plastic container in the freezer. the container without any instructions. and without warnings. been there a few years now. not too sure i want to try again. kind of reminds me how silly life is sometimes.
