"i don't like eye contact", you told me, somewhere around the very first time we talked. "what are you afraid of?" i asked you, because that was my first thought. you never really answered, and i never really pushed you too, but now..i wish i had. i wish i had asked, again and again, the who, the why, the what, the where, the how. but, i never did. and maybe that was my first mistake.