Okay, so maybe I haven't showered since Monday,
way behind on ALL of my assignments, didn't even finish half of my essay which is due in 17 minutes
BUT
I still got out of bed
I wrote the outline for the paper
I saved two honey bees with paper and a Starbucks cup
that's something.
It barely counts as functioning, but it kind of does.
I am trying

I am breathing

I am doing the best I can

And that has to be enough, it has to be enough for today. Because right now that kind of all Ive got. Oh geez 14 minutes, to be honest I am kind of panicking.... She gonna go over my essay and be disappointed, I want to run. I cant run, if I run then I get another zero. If I get another zero- Okay okay. Stop! Breathe, good. Youre spiraling more than if you give a mouse a cookie. What is your life now "If you give Carissa a 0,"? Deep breaths me, deeeeeep breaths.  

See now I am trying REALLY hard not to spiral and all of these random anxieties are flitting through my head and everytime I go for one I let go of another. 10 minutes


10 minutes
whoooh boi
I am not ready