Let's all have a pity party
I'll share with you all my laments
Then you can croon your condolences
So that the healing can commence

Let's all share some sympathy
And mewl and condescend
Let's all feel better about ourselves
At someone else's expense

We'll be nice
And give advice
Convinced that we are ever so kind
Our victim will be flattered by our attention
By the fact that we took out the time

Let's guilt them into forsaking their self worth
And bend their will to suit our own
We'll reduce them to the status of a begging dog
And then we'll throw them a bone

Individuality is to be abhorred
As are the flaws in their body and face
We have to all get together on this
Someone's got to put them in their place

Then we'll hang a sign around their neck
Which reads "Don't Be Anything Like Me"
This is turning out to be a great success
What a grand ol' Pity Party!