I've come to the realization that I'm not good enough for anyone,
& that everything that's good in my life I end up ******* it up.
What's the point of trying if I'll still feel like **** after ?
Honestly, I can't do it but somehow I end up being here the next day, though I don't want to be here.
Nothing ever good in my life stays, so I just want to give up & stop trying, but I want to be happy though I can't seem to get there.
I just feel like **** all the time, & I'm always clueless.
I need a timeout from everyone & everything; start from zero, but I can't just ignore the past, though I wish that was a possibility.
Everything good ends up leaving me, but why ?! I need these people, but instead they leave, but not because they want to, it's because they have to, & it fucken *****, because it hurts like a *****.
I'm trying to be a better me, but it's too hard with all these people judging.
A scenario of me taking a bunch of pills & going to the hospital just went through my head, & honestly, in this moment I could care less.