I carry him inside of me
the little one lost

he is small
but heavy

like a dark star
like a black hole

broken at birth
born into a broken egg
he has so many deep scars

the kind that never really heal
so even after all these years
they are still tender
to the touch

he never really learned
how to feel

or more accurately

he never really learned
how to make sense
of his feelings

I want to speak his words
express his feelings

he held them in
for so long

he tried to fit in
…sort of

but he was cursed from
the beginning

he was somehow
smart

smart in a way
that made him
see more
hear more
feel more

so much that it
made him cry

so much that
he had to hide

so he didn’t cry
so much

even when he was small
he was larger
than the others

he was larger
in ways that made
him heavy

and no one could
explain him

they didn’t know
the theory that could
explain him

make him feel better
make him make sense
of himself

but I have learned
a theory to explain him

a theory of levels
a theory of sight
a theory of time

but now he is so far away

buried under layers of time
buried under layers of scars

I don’t think he can hear me

if he could maybe
he would lighten my load