I found myself buried in the ashes of the thousands of love poems I was forced to use as kindle to keep the fire going in order to carry on.
Love letters filled with ink drained from scar tissue I’ll never let y’all see again
There is no brightest star in my orbit,
Just to many women that kept a piece of my heart and pulled the trigger, sending me back into the rabbit hole of memories that paint the story of my addiction.
I wake up to songs that promise love but always end in lies
End with memories lined with nails being hammered into my chest
You want to know why I’ve chased these chemicals so many times?
The truth is, I’m hoping the right mixture will erase you, or if not, me
When you love like I do, after it’s over the ghost never leave and they hold a remote capable of triggering the worst of feelings in every waking moment
They hold up pictures and storylines as reminders of paths you were so ******* certain spelled out love, but yours wasn’t forever.
They whisper sorrows that attach to the back of your hands so there’s no escaping the weights of all the times you were so wrong
It doesn’t matter how fast you run, what drugs you take, or how tightly you shut your eyes
All that was, is now forever apart of you!
My friends laugh at the tattoos for yall I’ll forever carry on my skin not knowing that the I do, cherry springs, and the giving tree are held so much deeper then the scull moon, heart on the tree stump, and name on my chest.
Not knowing that covering them in clothing is so much easier then trying to pry them from my heart and mind.
That’s the difference between me and you
My love is not a candle that will burn out one day
It is the sun
When it’s gone, so will I be
When it turns off, all my love as a whole will die
But until then
I love you all no matter what