I was the last flower blooming in spring
Until your teaching
I knew not what leaving was
I boarded our boat
Set sail upon a sea of dreams
Darkness fell quickly
Our sea of dreams became nightmares
Our boat, stitched together with trust
Fell away, as we fell apart
Swimming in nightmares
Was not something I was prepared for
These are not the apple juice box memories of my childhood
This is a grown me, trying to find the right band aids
For the right wounds, always with the wrong people
Holding hands is warmth, I needed treading water
Holding my breath, for hours at a time
While the people who said they loved me, loved each other, and loved God
Screamed their ignorance into the walls of our house
Words fasten themselves to the studs of the walls, slip into the cracks of the floor
Ghosts you wanted in the middle of the night never sounded like this
Love is screaming.
A vibration engrained so deeply into me
Another layer in the crust of the earth
Love is screaming.

So, when you whispered your love to me in the water
I did not hear it
I did not learn listening
I did not think it was meant for me