I can't help but wonder,
If I said yes that night, and we went to the movies.
If I allowed myself to fall hopelessly in love with you.
    As I always intended to do, though time didn't allow it.
Would I be bearing the camo scarf?
The one proving your death,
Ironically wrapped around your mothers and sisters necks?
Or would this situation be completely altered?
Rather than feeling the cold pew beneath me.
Would I feel the carpet beneath my heeled feet?
Replacing tears of sorrow flowing down my cheeks with the tears of passion.
If I allowed your palm to be placed into mine for longer than the haunted house lasted,
Would time have changed?
Would you be kissing my fingers rather than watching me peck away at this board?
If only I knew:
I wouldn't have the chance to tell you how much you meant.
I would be broken by this death.
I would never kiss your cheek again.
If only I knew how much I would miss you.
But instead, I sat in the back of the church.
Silently starving for your infectious smile.
Praying I believed in God, so one day I could see you.
Wanting to scream the one thing you loved to say,
More than the Lords Prayer.
*"You are the best, Be happy because I hate when you are sad; I love you."