i used to say
i wanted to pain to go away
but now that it is gone
nothing fills its place

i used to pray
that on some hopeful day
that my worries would vanish
and my sadness could fade

now i seem to crave
the hurt and the heart ache
as opposed to this dullness
this void-inducing haze

even as things seem to change
i notice how they just stay the same
either way i yearn
for a reason to stay

edges begin to fray
the only color i know is gray
i've always had this will
how come i can never find the way