I really don’t like being at my new school.
It’s far too big for me and I don’t know anybody.
So I sit alone most of the time,
Which I don’t mind.
It’s better than the alternative.
It’s so lonely here though.
I feel alone even when I’m in a room
with dozens of other students.
How I wish I could do this.
Math class.
Nobody answers the teacher’s questions
Except for me and a fellow a few rows behind me.
He’s so quiet though.
He talks to the teacher in an accent I’m not sure I recognize,
Though it sounds oriental.
In broken. But deliberate. English.
He volunteers to solve a problem on the board.
I glance at him.
Casually dressed with a stiff short haircut.
He looks harmless enough.
Maybe I’ll try asking him.
I sit anxiously waiting for the end of class.
3:43.
Only 2 minutes left.
I feel sweat pouring from my chest and neck.
I practice and practice in my head,
becoming more of a nervous wreck every second.
I hurry and pack my bag so I won’t be distracted then.
He walks by.
“Ummm… excuse me.”
He doesn’t seem to hear me.
Instead, he stops to ask the teacher a question before he leaves.
I wait.
And wait.
I wonder if I should just not say anything.
Something tells me to just keep quiet.
He heads toward the door.
No, I’ve got to!
I tap him on the shoulder.
“Excuse me.”
He turns around.
He doesn’t smile,
His round face covered in red blemishes.
Eyes blank and non-judgmental.
“Hey, you seem like you know what you’re doing.
You see, I’m new and I don’t know anybody here yet.
I’ve been looking for someone to study with.
Would you maybe like to study together sometime?”
He nods.
Oh my gosh.
Oh. My. GOSH.
I’m doing it.
“I… My name is Kate.”
He stares.
“What’s yours?”
I’m becoming dizzy again.
The lights in the hallway get brighter and brighter
With each step we take.
“Han.”
Or at least that’s what I think he said.
Between my own racing thoughts and
Fretting over my sweating
I couldn’t concentrate enough to hear him clearly.
He’s so quiet.
“It’s a… Pleased to meet you.”
He waves me off as he turns abruptly down
the next hallway on the left
with no warning or goodbye at all.
Did he seriously just do that?
At first I thought it rude of him to just walk off.
But then I realized it was probably my fault somehow.
He sensed that I was scared.
But what could possibly me more frightening
Than saying hello and asking someone’s name?
This was definitely a bad idea.