So boys always say they're more sensitive
they get hurt worse
down there
That the pain
the rush in their nervous system is so much greater

a little boy at my daycare kicks my ******
and I think about how boys say that it hurts worse
how they're more sensitive to the touch
and I think how
maybe
they're just not used to the touch

You see
we've been wrestling
these 4 boys 1 girl and myself
they're all four years old
and they don't know anything about personal space
or appropriateness
and you know any time i'm touched on my ******
those squirming knees
and feet
and elbows
and wrists that seem way too close to hands
I acknowledge it in my head
at least,
I think I do
or... maybe I don't
because we've been wrestling for a while now
and I know they've touched it more than once
but that's all I can seem to count
and I'm starting to think maybe I don't notice it
because maybe it's not abnormal for me for girls for women
maybe it's because we're supposed to have children climb out of our vaginas
and so accidental elbows and knobby knees
don't set off any alarms
maybe it's that maternal instinct
that allows me to have a random child
I'm paid to take care of
laying in between my legs
with them sprawled open

Because I've taken more offense
And drawn more pain
from Sharp bones and pinching hinges on my *******
and my stomach
than I have in my crotch

I can't help but think
I could possibly be used to it
like greedy hands and heads and elbows just seem to find their way into that space
more often than I thought
and maybe it just feels normal

Maybe it's a force of habit
for me to be zoned out
thinking of something else
my lunch
or my job
and casually notice activity in my ******
look down and see
a man
a child
it seems when an activity takes place in between my legs
I might get distracted
I might zone out
maybe I block it out
but I definitely don't pay attention
and I think that's a dangerous line for myself and for the children

For the children if I'm unafflicted by their grasping hands
then I'm not taking the opportunity to teach them it is not okay to touch me there
to touch a woman there
to touch another person there
and in consequently am teaching them that it is okay to touch me there
to touch a woman there
to touch another person there
and I don't want to raise one more generation of children behaving like that

Maybe that's how all these generations of adults behaving like children
behaving like that
came to be
women, so tired they forget to notice the little things
they forget people aren't supposed to touch them there
they're just so used to it
they're just so used to the violation
it becomes numbing like a knee or hand to the ******
is nothing more than a small blow to the thigh or the stomach
or any other insignificant piece a flesh