i paint
arched brows
fulls lips
cheek bones
on my canvas face
all of the time making myself up
going to waste
what difference does it make anyways
doesn't change who i am
what i do
the choices i make
confidence i wash off at the end of the day
all this for compliments i won't even take
you tell me i'm beautiful
but i can't trust what you say
no matter who you are or what you mean to me
either way
i want my body to change
i can't look in the mirror
and not feel ashamed
i'm fat
i'm ugly
i deserve all of this hate
taking showers in the dark
acting like that's not strange
every time i try to be good to myself
it always ends in pain
i know you think there is something you can do
but its to late to try and save
me and be my superman
it's not your lucky day
i'm sorry for dragging you into this
i'll make it up to you some way
i hate myself
i hate myself
why can't i just be normal for a day
or at least for the times
when i need to seem okay
to make them trust me to be alone
to get them off my case