I’m a bystander
In my own life
I should’ve known better
Then to think that I’ve changed
That I can grown in my skin
And be truly happy
At the end of the day
It all comes back
To one definite conclusion
That I am a passerby,a fading memory
shoved into the back of the minds of others  
Rotting ,smothered and suffocated by the dust of ignorance and the bliss I don’t experience
I watch
All I can do is watch
I was born to be a helping hand and it’s all I can amount to
My poor parents
They didn’t deserve
What did they do to deserve
A child who would not amount to anything more ?
A child who’s importance is limited to
‘et al’ and not the proud glorious name that overshadows it in front, sitting like a trophy on pieces of paper
that
control
And hold power
Over judgement calls and hierarchy
The subtle hierarchy we pretend to shun but really
We adore
And we praise
Because it keeps the inferior in place
So the confident exceed
the socks shoved underneath your bed
The very ones which offered warmth
In the darkest chapters of your book
Sob silently
As they stay still
Alone
Unnoticed
Confused and left feeling used
and *****
As they realise
That you
You’re perfectly fine
Without them
You never needed them
That they were a mere stepping stone into the future you contemplated ending
Of course you didn’t spare a thought
To them
It was wrong of me to think
That I could ever amount to anything
That I could build a name for myself and be happy
Feel what it means to be alive
Smile like a Cheshire Cat
As I lay in euphoria
Happy relationships and having friends who know so much about me
I realise I don’t have to suffer alone
But it’s a facade
Behind the scenes
They all draw lines
You’re just another figure to add the picture
You make their social life look stellar
You’re just someone who helps them grow
But what do you get in return?
You’re recycled, battered and tired
You have twisted and turned
And sobbed uncontrollably to yourself
At night
Contemplating to end it all
But no
You wake up
And manage to smile
And lead them to victory
As you burn into ashes
the ignorant flame thrower who

who forgot who helped ignite the flame
who bathed in glory
ran off
as you
a simple bystander
never got the chance
who could only dream of being happy

withered
and burnt
to crisp