Why do I have all this useless information in my head?What do I do with it?
Your favorite author Your favorite color The way you cringe during scary parts in movies The sound of your gentle cute snores The story of pooh flowers That you're allergic to cats That you like puzzles How you take your coffee (two cream two sugar)
I kept a list, did you know that? I kept a list of everything that was important to you. I did not want to forget any of it. I wanted to put it in a book. A book of you.
I just wanted you to stay.
How did I not know that how I was is what pushed you away? How did I not see what I was doing?
Why is it that all I have now is the late night searches on social media? Why is it that I can't resist looking? Why is it that seeing you can still make me smile? Why can't I let go? Why can't I move on?
I fight looking you up. My heart races, my stomach feels empty, I take one big breathe and search.
Waiting, expecting to find that you're with another. Relief when no mention is seen.