When you leave the house
on a lead, don't pull, it only
alerts your owner to how
much you dislike the place!
Makes it easy to abandon you.

On the walk, look back now
and again at the boss, pay no
heed of cats, ******* in heat,
birds or scraps of food en route.
Definitely, no **** sniffing.

When you need to ****, do it
in the allocated places, trees,
lamp posts but never never
against the wheels of cars, baby
transporters or trouser legs.

Most important of all, is crapping,
this is where 99% of all canines
get it wrong. You must learn to
hold your **** because as soon as
you do it, it's a Moundabout, "Home".