I am much better now.
I do not wake in pain
softly crying.

But sometime in 2003,
probably close to
the days I was supposed to
look after
my baby brother,
I tried to die.

I tried to swallow
the whole small bottle
of his ADD medicine.

Like a selfish *****
I called him in sick
cause I did not wish
to pass alone.

Spent the day
in a manic state
questioning
everything
while I was
tweaking.

Then in
the afternoon
I took him
and my friend
to see the Grinch.

After that
the cops came
and took me to
a safe place
where I choked down
charcoal
to puke up
those poisonous pills.

It took over ten years
for me to
work through
enough of
the pain
so, I could write at night
about it
without feeling
its sharpness
again.

I am actually doing
pretty **** good.