I wanted to want you enough
that I could be swept up,
not just distracted by
our enacted lust.

I wanted to do more then
spend time being bored
as your daytime boyfriend,
be more than a weekend
***** you are constantly
breaking in,
whilst I am pleasuring you
then leaving
cause I have
more important
things to do.

I wanted what most poets
aspire to,
to desire you
like an epic poem proclaims,
to feel your name
inflamed
on my skin
as you devour my flesh
and I sink in
to this loving authenticity
living in tranquil domesticity.

I wanted to want something normal,
but I am constantly seeking
the new thoughts
that need speaking.
I am constantly watching
and learning
which leaves little time
for burning
in your passionate presence.

I wanted you,
but not enough
to change
because I love
my freedom
more than the chains
love makes.