i wish i could tell her because she always wants me to talk
but its hard to talk about my problems
she always says i'm here if you need me
but sometimes i don't need her
she probably feels i'm holding out on her, that her daughter has some secret life and, in a way, i did and when she found out she burst like a volcano, saying that this wasn't me.
that all the 18+ role-playing and the texting on an app, that i actually found amazing people on, was nothing
that i was turning into something that she couldn't handle
if only she knew the thoughts that go through my mind everyday since she separated me from the girl that i love because our relationship seemed "one sided" and "not real love" to her
i cry every night wishing i could text my Amino friends
i stay up late wondering if they have forgotten about me
my anxiety and depression are feeding off this dark cloud that is now hanging above me.
i know she wants me to talk about my feelings but me talking about the way i feel would lead to nothing but conflict and possibly putting me on pills.
i don't want that
I've fought anxiety and self consciousness since grade 6 and depression came along in grade 7 or 8. I've fought it but now i'm weak and its getting harder to fight.
i cant tell her how i feel but i wish i could tell her
who i am.