Even though I’ll never wrap another present for you

Even though you’ll never get to make another impeccable christmas ham

Even though you’ll never get to see the shimmering lights on our tree again

I wish with every ounce of my heart and soul that you and I could be together.

Even if it’s just for one eve
Even if it’s just for one drink
Even if it’s just for one hug

That would be my happiest holiday
I know this won’t be the case
For this holiday
And for every holiday we will spend apart
Just longing for just a moment with one another
I want you to know that,

I’m trying
I’m fighting
I’m surviving

For you
And everything you stood for.

To continue creating a legacy for you
Because in my tired and grieving vision, you are the only one truly worth of that

Maybe that makes me sickly and toxic to others
But what does that matter to me?
Because they are not you
Could never be you
No matter how hard they tried
Nobody can ever be as amazing as you were

Happy holidays daddy
xoxo